The Hulse Haven

        The past month has been one of sorrow and grief. I have tried so hard to be a brick and if possible ease the sorrow of my beloved family members. Still, when I least expect it, the huge hole in my heart reaches up and pulls me into it and the tears gush out. My beloved huband of 64 years,3 months and 4 days was relieved from further suffering and went to another realm of existance. I know he is free of pain and happy. I wish I could say that I was, but I right now feel that I will never be happy until we are together again. I guess that is why I am so miserable. Will he remember me? Is he traveling in compay with those he is more comfortable with? Has he advanced so fast and far that I will trail far behind? Does he still love me as much as I love him? Oh dear! There are tears dripping from every inadequate word.
         I now can recite my blessings. The arrangements for his funeral and burial went so smoothly. everything was so perfect My darling looked so peaceful and natural in his lovely pine casket. The flowers were gorgeous. The services were exactly what he would have wanted. Those who came to pay their respects were like a multitude. Seeing friends and family and feeling their love and concern had a comforting effect on my spirit. Our adorable children and grandchildren were so kind and caring that I never could have made it without them.  The Gospel of Jesus Christ made it possible for me to know where he is and that I will see him as his wife again. Still, I must dispose of his clothing and other proofs that he lived and was so dear. Still, I must feel across the bed an realize he's not there.Still,I call out his name and he doesn't answer. The dreaded hole is pulling me in and the tears are flowing. Oh, Ted, sweetheart, I miss you so much.